Dad, Will You Pet Me?

My youngest child, Daniel, is four years old. He shares a bedroom with two older brothers; Jake, 9; and Ethan, 6. That makes for strategic logistics when it’s time for them to go to bed. If we don’t phase them into the room one at a time, it’s Romper Room without rules.

We usually send Jake in first and have Ethan wait 15 minutes in the living room while Jake winds down reading. In the meantime, Daniel lays down on our bed until the other two are out. I often lay down with him to read or watch a video. It doesn’t take long before he turns over onto his stomach, pulls his shirt up so that his back is exposed, and asks, “Dad, will you pet me?” He wants his back tickled.

I loved that as a kid. Still do. And I love doing it for him. It’s one of my favorite times of day. Everything else has slowed and settled enough for he and I to just hang out. We don’t talk much or do anything else. Just hang out.

Over  the years I’ve wasted an unforgivable amount of time working late, and spreading myself too thin with other people’s good causes. That’s easy to do in education. There’s always a need to fulfill. I still try to serve others but I’m becoming more balanced.

I can’t recover the time I misspent with others instead of my own children, but I’m doing a better job making the most of the moments I still have. It’s the right thing to do. Actually, it’s the best thing to do. I watch Daniel’s body slowly melt into a placid picture of tranquility. His breathing hits a slow, steady rhythm. He turns to look at me with a serene smile and tells me how much he loves me, and I feel time stand still for just a little while.