Over the last few months I finally got around to posting again after a couple of years of hiatus. During the process of my divorce unfolding I had just been too
disoriented to be able to express myself. And once I could start to string coherent thoughts together again, I let myself be busy with too many other things than writing.
I last posted on March 1, just about the same time the divorce was official. There was still a lot of clean-up to do in getting my life reassembled into some sort of new version of normal, but overall, that has gone well and the new rhythm feels right. It feels right, but busy hardly does it justice.
In addition to single-parenting every other week, I returned to my graduate studies working toward a doctorate in education leadership, and a couple of other life-opportunities developed that I’ll write about some other time.
But even with all that is happening, I’ve found happiness again in al l that is transpiring. To be clear, during the ugly stuff the last couple of years, I felt peace, and hope, and faith, even love. Love from my Heavenly Father; either through personal, intimate feelings or promptings, in the scriptures I read, the hymns and music that I listened to, and especially through the family and friends that stayed close to me throughout the journey.
But even with those tremendously rich blessings, I didn’t feel happiness. At least not consistently. There were moments. Moments when my kids did something funny or were tender with me. Moments when someone said or did just the right thing, or even moments when the sun was shining just right enough to get inside me and light things up.
So there was a steady stream of peace, and moments of happiness… but now, I feel joy. Just about all the time. It’s funny. I didn’t know how much that was missing until it came back. I knew inside that I would be okay, that I WAS okay. But until that effulgence swept back in and stayed there, I didn’t realize that more happiness, and peace, and laughter would come.
And so all of that is just to say that my life is a joy. Truly. And I want to share that with others. Because we’re here to share the joy as much as the burdens. And because it feels better to share a smile than a sadness. And because sometimes we all suffer, and hurt, and feel sad. And sometimes when we feel that way it helps when someone shares their happiness with you. At least it did for me.
And I hope that by sharing what’s good in my life, maybe I can help someone else too. Offer some hope that it’s going to be okay, and eventually better than okay. Great even. I “knew” that before, when things were hard, but now I can feel it again. And I want to share it.
I’m looking forward to writing about some of the stories that brought me back. And I will. Gradually. But for today, the best way I can express my feelings is with a few pictures of the greatest sources of joy in my life.
It feels good to be back. And to share it with you.